My boyfriend and I

Selamat Tahun Baru 2010.

I loved New Year.

For me, New Year is a day to reflect myself, reset my target and realign agenda to achieve the target. I love starting over. When I start fresh, I feel like a new person, striving to a better life, learning from errs and lessons from ‘last season’.

2009 was a wonderful year for me even though it started with a devastated heart wrenched break-up with my ex. Anyway, I was happy with the breakup. Not because my love for him has faded, but because I was too exhausted fixing up the relationship. Yeah, it did not workout. It has reached a stagnant point and he’s not ready to make any move forward. To make matter worse, he avoided me for months without any phone calls whenever he wanted to be ‘single’. Relationship with a commitment-phobic made me suffocated, seriously. I need to pull a brake because the relationship was hanging loosely and he did not even try to repair it.

After the breakup, I felt so lonely and empty. Luckily I had my besties to support me, especially my Al-single friend-Iza. Thanks dear! From that moment onward, I found myself learning to appreciate the people around me, more than before. I remember, when I was blinded by love, I took friendship for granted. When love dumped me, friends turned up to support me. Thanks girls! With their helps, I managed to move on. I let my eyes and even my heart widely open to see the new chapter of life without him in it.

There’s a moment when I felt so fragile. I hate myself for falling for the wrong guy. In the darkness, I ponder why? Ironically I had this silly theory in my mind –.My heart melts easily when I see a macho and intelligent guy! I believed that that type of guys will be able to protect and take good care of me. They will give me the security that a girl needs.

I don’t have any brother. I lost my dad when I was 14. Ever since, I hunger for a dad’s love. My dad was caring and protective. As could still remember, he never allowed me to go to school alone. Everyday, he dropped me right in front of the school gate and after school he’d be ready on his bike to pick me up. He was never late. I always assumed that a boyfriend can resume a father’s role and love me they way he did. I always want a bf that resembles him. Yeah, I admit I was totally wrong. A boyfriend cannot replace my lost dad.

Actually I do have a step dad and step brothers which I rarely spoken to. Somehow, I feel awkward and for me he’s still a stranger although we live under one roof. The closest man I have in my life was my ex-bf and now he’s gone.

Life is not that cruel. Not long after that, I realized that I have this one man standing firmly by my side during my ups and downs. He was there all along but I purposely ignored him while I was in relationship with my ex. When, our good friend revealed his feeling toward me, I was still in denial about the breakup. I treated him as usual and pretended liked ‘I know nothing about your feeling and I don’t need a man’.

But he is different. Although he is younger than me, he is very mature. He is a very very nice guy, brilliant and he is charming in his very own way. I could see that he’s very persistent in everything that he does, including courting me. Haha.. He’s my King Al. The nicest guy I have ever met.

Honestly, I’ve never been treated so nice before. Every morning King Al picked me up and sent me to the office. He waited until I finished my work to send me home. When he found out I watched movie all alone by myself, he quickly bought himself a ticket and looked for me in the cinema. When I was craving for late-night supper, he drove all the way and brought me food. When I was low with my friend’s cynical remark about my love life, he gave me a phone call all the way from overseas for hours to make me feel better.

Ok let cut it short, finally I fell for him and his effort. King Al is the best thing that ever happened to me in 2009. I am deeply overwhelmed by his love. I always thought that I’m so unlucky in love. I never knew that I could be loved again. Thanks Al for loving me. You have given me a new perspective of love.